There’s Too Much Misguided Persistence

"If discomfort is medicated, there's no movement." Love this insight from comedian Doug Benson. Reminds men that I'm eternally grateful for all of life's low points. If we're never sad, we're never aware what happiness feels like. If we're never kicked in the crotch by the golf shoe of reality, we're never angry enough to make the necessary changes. The answer to discomfort isn't popping pills, it's giving thanks. 

"There’s too much misguided persistence." There's a fine line between following up and being a stalker. Whether it's looking for a job, closing a sale or getting a date, if we don't demonstrate a valid reason for our persistence, we're just annoying. Irritating our way into people's inboxes isn't a wise approach for getting attention, earning permission or solidifying trust. Persistence is like tofu, in that it takes on the flavor of whatever sauce it's immersed in. If we fail to pair persistence with value, the flavor ain't right. Inspired a stack of dusty resumes.

"Your lack of privacy is someone else’s wealth." Jaron Lanier argues that our personal information is form of currency traded among the very rich. Interesting point. My thought is, maybe a little less privacy would go a long way. One of the reasons I want everybody to wear nametags all the time everywhere forever, is because nametags eliminate anonymity. They create a social contract that you resign every day. And when you wear a nametag on your chest for all to see, publicly, you're more apt to consider the repercussions of your actions. Yes, there'd be a little less privacy, but there'd also be a lot more civility. I don't think privacy should be eliminated completely, but if we're already living honest lives with little to hide, do we really care if the president of some tech company knows which ex-girlfriends we stalk on Facebook? Instead of burning calories bemoaning a battle that we can't win, maybe we should focus on living lives we're not ashamed to share.

"Please don’t think I care." Sara Silverman's TED talk got me thinking about how people love to go out of their way to remind the world how much they don't like, aren't interested or couldn't care less about certain things. My thought is, if you care so little about it, why did you spend fifteen minutes telling me about it? If you're going to not care, at least learn to do it right. Selective indifference is a fine art. Point being, if you're ever unsure why people act the way they do, when in doubt, blame it on overcompensation. That explains everything.

"I finally feel like a whole person." It's been exactly one year since I retired as an entrepreneur. And as I reflect on how different life is now, the word wholeness comes to mind. It's a combination of many things: Being engaged to the right person. Being employed by the right company. Being motivated by the right reasons. Being connected with the right community. And being focused on the right meaning. Doesn't mean I'm happy every moment of the day, but there's something infinitely satisfying about feeling like a whole person. Jesus Christ. Finally. 

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Any Solution Other Than Reps

"I don't want that hour back." There's simple way to measure the satisfaction of time spent. When you're done reading a book or listening to a podcast or going to a party, do you wish you had that chunk of time back? If not, what you did was meaningful. For example, suffering through three painful hours of Les Miserables, I wish I had that time back. Going for a walk in the park, listening to my favorite playlist and taking pictures of bizarre found items, I regret nothing. Inspired by Jeff Garlin's delightful interview with Mad Men creator Matthew Winer.

"Any solution other than reps." When I hear the word reps, I think bodybuilding. Muscles. Knocking out sets of curls until you can't lift your arms anymore. But the value of repetition pays off in every part of our lives, not just the gym. Personally, I love practice. I could practice all day. In fact, most days I do. I learned many years ago how meaningful life becomes when you approach everything as practice. Inspired by a fascinating discussion about addiction and recovery with Dr. Drew.

"I've never had a door that wasn't next to someone else's." Beautiful article about neighbors. When I moved to Portland after college, the first person I met was Laszlo, the guy across the hall. He and I became fast friends, made tons of great memories––even helped each other through some storms––and still remain friends to this day. All because our doors were adjacent. Isn't it amazing how proximity affects influence? After meeting Laszlo, and after reading Bowling Alone, I've vowed never to ignore my neighbors again. We don't always have to be best friends, but we do have to acknowledge each other.

"My purpose in writing is to say things, not to sell things." I grew up reading Calvin & Hobbes. Decades later, seeing this transcript from Bill Watterson really hit home with me. I've always been the kind of artist who'd rather be heard than paid, which, as an entrepreneur, was a blessing and a curse. On one hand, there was a certain purity to the work, never having to bow down to some corporate master who's looking over my shoulder with a giant red pen. On the other hand, I was only really making enough money to buy more time so I could do more work. Not exactly a sustainable business model.

"There comes a moment in history when ignorance is no longer a forgivable offense." Powerful passage from Dan Brown's new book. What's crazy is, no matter how devastating ignorance is, sometimes we choose not to know. About important things, too. The problem is, when ideas don't jive with the identity we've created for ourselves, our beliefs become too convenient to be killed. And we end up hurting ourselves, our neighbors and our planet. But don't worry. I'm sure that whole global warming hoax will pass. Climate change is just another fad like slap bracelets and stonewashed jeans.

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Clients Are Not Paid To Take Risks

"Like swinging a flyswatter at an incoming asteroid." Every few months, my office shuffles seats. It's a simple system for enabling collaboration, creativity and connection. The only thing is, it's totally random. Which means wherever you end up, you end up. And that got me thinking: Futility is a funny thing. We're such control freaks, and yet, despite our best efforts, most of life's fickle forces treat us like pawns in their cruel game of cosmic chess. But the best moment, though, is when we surrender. When acceptance washes over us like an afternoon shower and we bask in the beauty of our own vulnerability. Unless the guy sitting next to you smells like an ashtray. Inspired by a passage from Dan Brown's new book.

"Clients are not paid to take risks." There's what the client wants. There's what the client wants to want. There's what the client thinks they want. And there's what the client really needs. Our job, as service providers, is to listen loudly to all of those things––do some serious alchemy and jujitsu with our team––and usher the client into the space they should be. The secret is, never let them catch you acting. The art is hiding the art, as Michael Cane used to say. 

"You can't teach integrity." Not to adults, that's for sure. Yes, you can model it. You can inspire it. But our job isn't to teach people how to be good people. That's why we have parents. Our job is to find people who already have integrity, and give them places to put it. If a prospective employee or volunteer shows up without integrity, we can have all the meetings in the world, but we're not going to magically morph them into good workers. Integrity is like virginity, you either have it or you don't. There's no preheat setting. This post inspired by somebody pissing me off.

"The usual vortex of opponent overconfidence." Physically, humans have their limits. But mentally, psychologically, our species is capable of limitless powers. Floyd Mayweather is a rockstar who happens to box three months a year. What I love most about his fighting style is, he gets up in your head. That's why he's undefeated. By the time Floyd's opponents insist he will never get to them, it's already too late.

"What do I already know that will help me solve this?" In the problem solving process, our first instinct is to look for answers externally. Turns out, many of our toughest challenges can be resolved by asking this simple question. Especially if we have a wealth of experience to draw from. We didn't go through all that bullshit for nothing. Everything we've been through is more grist for the mill, more input to scan and more data to bounce of a richer matrix. Inspired by Eric Maisel's new book. 

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All Have Love But Few Know How To Use It Right

"Everybody is a frustrated something." Not necessarily. It all depends on your relationship with your expectations. For example, I've been writing and performing music for twenty years. Composing, playing and singing my own songs is one of the most satisfying and rapturous experiences of my life. But I'm practical enough to treat it as a passion, not a profession. I'm no rock star. I'm completely okay never making money off my music. And because of that level of expectation, there's no frustration. Ever. Inspired by a conversation between Doug Benson and Dr. Drew.

"Unemployment is so high, we're watching other people work." Brilliant observation by comedian Dov Davidoff. Got me thinking about two statistics. First, eleven million Americans are unemployed. Second, Americans watch thirty-four hours of television a week. It doesn't take an economist to do the math. Here's my idea: What if, for one year, we stopped watching other people make art, create value and earn money, and instead, we got to work ourselves? The repurcussions would be glorious. More tax money would come in. Less junk food would be eaten. Greater morale would be established. Less depression would be reported. All we'd have to do is put down the remote. 

"All have love but few know how to use it right." Contrary to popular conditioning, it's not hard to be single in this town. In fact, it's not hard to be single in any town. Like any worthwhile pursuit, looking for love is only as hard as we make it. If we're willing to do the work, we'll find someone. If we're waiting for love to fall in our lap, we'll remain alone. That's it. When we approach the problem in a simple, honest, binary way, our hearts will thank us forever. Inspired by a greeting card I gave to my fiance.

"I always had the notion that I had a tiny garden to cultivate." Purpose is a word that gets thrown around like a rag doll. And a few years ago, I discovered something. Purpose isn't an activity or a talent or a job or hobby, it's everything. It's the way we live our lives. Most of us have too narrow a definition of purpose, and as a result, we sell ourselves short. Purpose isn't a box to be checked, it's a project to be lived.

"We are amazingly adept at being defensive creatures who can deny almost anything." It's the same old story: Everyone knew she wasn't right for me. Everyone except me, that is. I had no idea my girlfriend was a flaming ball of manipulation and negativity, because I was too busy seeing what I wanted to see. Thankfully, a few brave friends lifted the veil and loved me enough to pull my lovelorn ass out of the mine field before it was too late. That was a close one. Inspired by Eric Maisel's new book, Making Your Creative Mark.

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Jobs That Are Too Small For Our Spirit

"It was an itch I've been trying to scratch for many years." Love this story about Nigel Clark, a call center employee who spent seven years working out shortcuts to help customers skip through the dozens of menu options. Proving my theory that anger is the ember of initiative, that only pissed off people change the world, and that once we channel our frustration into something useful, all the bullshit we endured becomes worthwhile. Exhale. Nothing beats the exquisite satisfaction of spinning straw into gold.

"I added this app to ensure trust in my loving relationship with my boyfriend." Reviews in the app store are a comedy writer's dream. This particular user installed a family member locator app on her phone that nearly ended her relationship. Allegedly, the push alert inaccurately notified Marcy's boyfriend of her whereabouts. When he found out what club she really went to, the waves of jealousy came crashing down and they ended up getting into an epic fight. Thanks, Life360. The point is, if you need an app to ensure trust in your loving relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship. Or have a smartphone.

"Budget time so it's not all sucked up by one step of the process." I used to work with a designer named Chu. He was a master at managing his time, and inspiring others to do the same. The best was, if he noticed someone getting bogged down by one particular task, he'd sneak up behind them and whisper, "You're spending too much time on this." That's all it took to get people back on track. In fact, even today, if you hold your ear up to a mousepad and listen closely, you can make out the faint voice of Chu's ghost.  Doooeeeeeit.

"Jobs that are too small for our spirit." Over the years, I've waited tables, sold furniture, parked cars, sold watches on Ebay and refereed youth basketball. But none of those jobs were beneath me. I did what I had to do at the time. The problem is, when you're housing an immense spirit, witholding your best skills and talents and gifts and abilities, it's not only a misuse of professional resources, it's an existential disservice to yourself. You have to pay the bills, but eventually, you have to make the most of everything you are. Inspired by a passage from Working.

"To keep her in love with me shall be my chief object." Timeless marriage advice from a greeting card I picked up the other day. That's what I tell my lady: My goal is to see how many times I can make you laugh before you leave for work. That way, your reservoir of joy is overflowing for the rest of the day. Point being, we all need something to distract us from the complexity of reality. Laughter works pretty darn well.

"I use what remains of my dreams of the night before." I once bought a book on dream interpretation. Total nightmare. Didn't understand a word. But I did steal the suggestion of writing down your dreams as soon as you wake up. And I've been practicing that daily ritual for many years now. Pretty interesting stuff. Learned a lot about myself, picked up a few good song lyrics, even stumbled across a good idea or two. Sure beats reading another dense psychology textbook. Inspired by the infamous interviews with Eugene Ionesco.

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She’s My Second Favorite Narcissist In New York

"It's like quitting cocaine by crazy gluing your nostrils together." Snap. That was Bill Maher's take on Chris Christie's stomach stapling. And my thought is, what's the problem with crazy glue? For those of us who lack self-control, people for whom abstinence is cheaper than moderation, sometimes the best way to block a punch is to not be there. In my experience, forcing yourself to live in a more black and white world knocks out excuses, reduces your experience of anxiety, prevents the rationalization of poor choices and enables daily decision making to be a million times easier. Absolutes are highly underrated. Hooray for glue.

"A society of mourned and misplaced creativity." I'm eternally grateful to come from a family of artists, musicians and entrepreneurs; an upbringing that encouraged, supported and applauded all forms of creativity. Sadly, not every family has such fortune. People grow up, but their expression never bubbles to the surface. Beaten into submission by the sleepwalk of work, their art never finds a home. Thank god for interviews with artists like James Rhodes. He inspires hope that it's never too late for the gates of dammed up dreams to be opened.

"Bad words don't make it into the public sphere." My friend Tony pointed out a fascinating distinction between public space and digital space. Online, selectivity determines discovery. We only engage with content that mirrors our identity. We scroll through feeds, subscribe to blogs, listen to podcasts and press like buttons for people and things and ideas that perfectly reflect our belief systems. And, we do so with anonymity. Offline, proximity determines discovery. We engage with whatever is around us. We have conversations in unexpected places and bump into people who aren't like us and encounter viewpoints that, god forbid, force us to think outside of our outdated beliefs. And, we do so with accountability. Maybe I'll start listening to Glen Beck, just to keep me on my toes.

"Growing wealth as a side effect of living your life creatively and intelligently." Wealth isn't the target, wealth is what we get for hitting the target. It's the incidental consequence of the intentional commitment to make meaning in accordance with our values. Who said anything about money? Five years ago, my income was significantly higher than it is now, but my relationship sucked, my health suffered and my happiness staggered––therefore, my wealth was significantly lower than it is now. Inspired by Jaron Lanier's new book, Who Owns The Future? 

"I’ve gotten so used to it that doesn’t seem weird anymore." Yesterday I was telling a new coworker the origin story of my nametag. Her immediate response was, "Why would anybody want to read a book about that?" And I replied, "Exactly. They wouldn't. But they did. Repeatedly. For twelve years. And because of that, I built a profitable business, a successful career and an iconic brand. So, who's the joke really on here?" Inspired by a heartbreaking documentary on professional YouTubers.

"She’s my second favorite narcissist in New York." I overheard this comment during a happy hour conversation between two unemployed drunks. Made me think of this. When we decided to move to a New York, the first thing we did was interview friends who lived here. As expected, everyone bemoaned how exhausting, stressful and overwhelming the city was. We considered ourselves warned. Eighteen months later, I'm not sure I agree. Yes, New York is fast, cold, hard and rude. And I'm probably more tired than I used to be. But I'm also more relaxed, more slow paced and more at peace than I used to be. Perhaps overwhelm is a choice to be made, not an inevitability to be feared.

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