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Tuesday, April 24, 2018

Reconnecting to yourself in small ways

Allowing myself to admit what I desire, getting in touch with the small things that matter to me, these aren’t insignificant moments. 

They’re triumphs of the self. Exercises in meaning. 

Like singing karaoke on the commute to work every morning, for example. That’s an act of joy that helps me feel a sense of delight and blissful expansiveness in my body. It’s my emotional on ramp to the workday. 

Who cares if the people next to me think I’m crazy? You do what you have to do to lock into the right mindset. 

It reminds me of a helpful question from cognitive behavioral therapy. Patients use it to confront their guilty tendencies and gain greater agency over joy. 

By not having this thing, who is it I’m getting revenge on? Who is it that I’m getting back at? 

This is a helpful exercise for each of us. Because we all have somebody in our lives that we’re still rebelling against. We all silently acquiesce to some archetype whose opinion we’re still giving too much weight. 

Like a parent or a bully or an ex lover who judged and shamed and scolded us for acting in a certain way. We’ll show them, we think. 

But the problem is, to let our current happiness rely on the past behavior of others, only causes more suffering. To depend on others to give us a definition of ourselves, only causes more suffering. 

And so, we let go of that power struggle. We forgive people, freeing both them and ourselves. 

And we sing our hearts out, remembering that our happiness or suffering is dependent on how we relate to the present moment. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
By not having what you truly desire, who are you getting revenge on?

* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Monday, April 23, 2018

A companion that accompanies you in all your adventures

The problem with fear is, it tricks me into making a giant leap to global negativity. 

It sells me on the story that when I make a mistake or miss the mark or get a bad result, it’s proof that I’m not good enough. 

And so, when a coworker tells me that my idea doesn’t work, or when my client sends back a draft covered in red pen, I immediately fear for my job. I start running scenarios in my head about how people have found me out and it’s all over and I’m going to wind up penniless, pathetic and alone. 

Of course, none of this is true. 

It’s all just a fantasy relationship I’ve built inside my head, using fear as the foundation. 

That’s why one of the practices I’m working on is treating myself with compassion when I fail. Accepting that I was challenged beyond my ability and I did the best I could. And reminding myself of a few key truths. 

I have the right to make mistakes. 

I am valuable even when I make them. 

I will quickly convert those mistakes into lessons and lessons into habits. 

I have a system for failing gracefully without bringing down everything else around me.

I will continue to treat myself well after each loss, rewarding a good attempt and the right behaviors. 

Take that, fear. Thanks for stopping by, but for today, your services will no longer be needed. 

Want to act towards yourself with greater and gentler compassion and understanding? Try this. 

Instead being haunted by recollections of your mistakes, shocking yourself into immobility by irrational fears, zoom out of your failure for a moment. Stop rehearsing your fears and taking them for reality. 

And remind yourself that it’s just another story. It makes life so much lighter. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you trying to escape fear, or transform it into a companion that accompanies you in all your adventures?
* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Sunday, April 22, 2018

The best way to enjoy the game is to remember that it is one

I recently met the coach of the women’s national soccer team. 

He made an interesting point about player behavior. 

He said that the women loved to beat the other teams, no doubt about it. But the fiercest competition was internal. 

"They’re not just playing for the win, they’re playing to keep their spot on the lineup," he said

It’s a helpful kick in the ass for anyone working towards a goal. Because whatever game we’re playing, the competition is always multifaceted. There are always peripheral opponents. Everything competes with everything for a chance to earn attention and deliver value. 

It’s us against ourselves, us against others, us against the resistance, and of course, us against the clock. 

Rocky said it best while training his young boxing apprentice. 

Time takes everybody out. It’s undefeated. 

Which can be scary as hell. Like you’re playing some bizarre game with an opponent who never sleeps, keeps switching sides and changes the rules without warning. 

But the good news is, when you’re scared, that’s a good sign. It means you have skin in the game. It means you’re locked into an activity that makes you feel engaged and tested and stretched. 

And so, play your heart out. Be as in the game as anyone can be. Enjoy the game by remembering that it is one. Know that every time you learn something about the game, you learn something new about yourself. And trust that if you stay in the game long enough, your rewards will far outweigh your frustrations. 

But don’t get complacent. 

Because the moment you get too eased into the game you’re playing is the moment you’ll miss the chance to score big. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Who is your biggest competition right now?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Saturday, April 21, 2018

Gentle opportunities to observe possible flaws in our own thinking

Lundholm is a former criminal, mental patient and homeless alcoholic uses stand up comedy to help addicts thrive in recovery. 

One of his most well known mantras is, first thought wrong. 

It pertains to individuals suffering with the disease of addiction and their impulsive mindset. The people who rarely take the time to filter through their thoughts that lead to inappropriate responses and behaviors. 

The theory is that recovery is not the absence of bad thinking, rather, the ability to navigate through it with grace. 

If addict follows their first thought, it will get them into trouble. 

But if they learn to take notice, take pause and take alternative action, they can move towards healthier living. 

Even if takes them an hour or a day or week to get to the thought that's right, the addict’s first thought, properly filtered, can eventually become the next right thing. 

What I love about this practice is, it’s all about forgiveness. It’s about not beating yourself up for having impulsive thoughts, but simply noticing that you’re having them, and then trusting that in the sacred space between, you can locate the healthier ones. 

What’s more, it isn’t exclusive to addicts. All of us could use gentle opportunities to observe possible flaws in our own thinking. 

As my therapist once said, anytime a person uses a concrete life situation to let go of their impulsive and unhealthy thoughts, that’s a meditation. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
What’s your mantra for navigating through your thoughts with grace?


* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Friday, April 20, 2018

Creating a portal through which joy can enter

Rumi said that our task is not to seek love, but to find all the barriers within ourselves that we have built against it. 

What’s interesting is, so much of life works the same way. 

These things that we deeply desire, like happiness and joy and satisfaction and fulfillment, they aren’t so much pursued as they are allowed. They show up in our lives because of the permission we give ourselves. 

Guilt, for example, is a common barrier we use to hold ourselves back. An excuse we use not to move forward and face the next step. And a restraint we use to handicap our potential. 

Because that’s the guilt story we’ve bought into. That we’re not worthy of receiving. That we’re not whatever enough to welcome in any more. 

And as a result, we withhold joy from ourselves, starving our souls for the nutrition they need most. 

When the healthier response is to create that portal. To own our talent, accept our success, enjoy our status and give ourselves credit for the genuine value we provide and the meaningful contribution we make. 

Sound like a of work? 

It certainly is. But only in the beginning. Because once that joy portal opens, there’s no going back. There’s no rehab program for being addicted to giving yourself permission. 

Once you’ve crossed that line, you can rarely cross back over. 

Once you’ve tasted what it’s like on the other side, good luck trying to guilt yourself away from joy ever again. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
When will you free yourself from the subconscious mechanisms of guilt that limit your happiness? 

* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Thursday, April 19, 2018

The brain is a bad neighborhood

Thank god other people can’t hear the screaming inside my head, because the thoughts that seize me upon awakening are relentless. 

Sometimes I feel like I need a defense team to fight the sea of voices clamoring for a hearing. Racing to keep pace with my own neural impulses, it’s like a second job. 

But that’s okay. I accept and understand that I have been endowed by nature with a brain that can race. 

Maisel’s insightful research about why smart people hurt calls this state racing brain syndrome. The therapist explains that when we’re dealing with a racing brain that doesn't come with an off switch or a break pedal, it inclines itself toward insomnia, mania, obsession, compulsion and addiction. 

And so, it’s driven by a certain powerful pressure or need or impulse, accompanied by the feeling that we simply must get on with whatever it’s proposing. 

As such, I have become skilled at quieting the monster inside my head. It has taken many years to master this conditioning technique, but it works wonders. Here's the essence of it:

Instead of tossing and turning and crashing and banging around and around on the endless racetrack of compulsive thoughts, I firmly turn my attention to something else. 

Instead of allowing myself to become totally consumed with intrusive and irrational thoughts until I actually raise my pulse and blood pressure, I firmly turn my attention to something else. 

Instead of allowing the thief inside my head to steal away my joy, I firmly turn my attention to something else. 

Instead of trying to control and judge and bully the murmuring stream of thoughts that runs along my mind, I firmly turn my attention to something else. 

Are you noticing a pattern? 

Channel those neurons elsewhere. Make the mental railroad switch. Spend your energy on a new pursuit. And the voices will go away. 

It’s like my yoga teacher always says. 

The brain is a bad neighborhood. Stay out of it. 

Don’t allow yourself to become unceremoniously yanked around by your thoughts. Turn your attention to something else. 

Yeats famously prayed:

God guard me from the thoughts men think. 

But with so many questions and voices and ideas inside my head, spinning like plates on sticks, perhaps the thoughts of other men aren’t our problem. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Do you tend to underestimate the extent to which your own hostile thoughts impact your life?

* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

We start to look for new reasons to do things

Phelps is the most decorated olympian in history. 

After twenty five years of work, he’s earned all the medals, shattered all the records, won all the awards and secured his spot in the history books as one of the most elite athletes of our time. 

Mission accomplished. 

And yet, that doesn’t mean he’s finished swimming. Far from it. Even in his retirement, the guy still shows up to the pool. Every day. 

The only difference is, now the pool holds a different meaning. 

Phelps swims because he loves it, not because he desperately needs the world to love him for it. 

And that’s the most inspiring part about his journey. He proves that once we’ve done enough to be okay with ourselves, we don’t necessarily have to stop doing the thing we do. We simply make the choice to shift the way we do it. 

That’s the unexpected reward of success. Our brain chemistry changes. After a certain number of years, the motivational priorities of our mind get permanently altered. The reasons that used to drive grow old and lose their power. 

And suddenly, we’re free to do things from a newer and cleaner and richer place. 

We can show up at the pool not because we have to, not because we need to, not because we’re expected to and not because it’s our job. 

But because we want to. Because we love it. Because it’s who we are in our bones. 

The effort doesn’t come from a place that’s in any way unwholesome. 

Our nervousness can find a place of rest and allow the soul to appear. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

Are you doing what you do from a place of joy and abundance, or from a place of proving and striving?

* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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Tuesday, April 17, 2018

Can’t you see anything besides your own needs?

After a certain point, I don’t need any more me. 

It’s one thing to care deeply about enhancing my relationship with myself, it’s another thing to disappear down the rabbit hole of my own mythology. 

That’s why it’s so delightful to ground myself in the material world. It forces me to express fascination with something other than my own worries. It tests me to overcome my antisocial tendencies, get the hell out of the house bring me out of the ridiculous running commentary inside my heads and into the context of other people. 

The soul needs that. Regular escorting out of the ether and into the realm of the actual. 

No more theory, only practice. 

It’s a form of social mindfulness, really. 

Instead of getting stuck in a circle trying to regulate by ourselves, we reach for the other. 

Instead of losing ourselves in a narrative that exists up in our head and is divorced from the realities of daily existence, we can actually do things that help others thrive. 

It’s a never ending practice. 

Each of us has dense layers of selfishness to dissolve. 

Each of us has antisocial tendencies to contend with. 

Each of us needs to step outside of ourselves and appreciate the independent existence of other people. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you going out of your way to honor the part of you that is not satisfied with a life of estrangement and isolation?
* * * *


Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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