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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Hold hands, not grudges

I’ve never been one to hold grudges. 

Getting mad at people for making mistakes that they didn’t know were mistakes at the time is exhausting and insensitive. 

It’s easier to just let them off the hook and accept their imperfect humanity, rather than wrap myself up in wrongs and prosecute people for crimes past. 

But although I’m quick to let the actions of others roll off my back, I do have a tendency to hold grudges with myself. 

It’s just my personality. By setting unrealistically high standards for myself and getting upset when I fail to meet them, I subtly reinforce feelings of supremacy associated with having high standards in the first place. 

It’s this cruel infinite regression of unforgiveness that I trap myself in. 

But the good new is, there are physical keys to help unlock those emotional doors. As my yoga instructor likes to say: 

The shortest distance to the heart is through the body. 

Meaning, when there’s a challenging emotional experience you want to work through, simply back into it by changing your sheer physicality. 

Just ask the ancient masters. They believe that the inability to forgive yourself stems from an imbalance in the heart chakraAfter all, this center of spiritual power governs the rib cage, lungs, diaphragm and of course, the heart. 

And so, when you open your heart, you creates the necessary space to love yourself. 

Which sure beats pay the price for your mistakes over and over again. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
What prevents you from offering and receiving forgiveness from yourself? 
LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Pay no attention to the craziness everywhere around you

Control is an illusion. 

Human beings are meat puppets, bone machines, moist robots, collections of atoms, accidental byproducts of nature and, my own personal favorite, chimpanzees with a firmware upgrade. 

We’re guided and constrained and manipulated by systems that we cannot understand. And that’s precisely why people continue to do things that give them the false sense that they are taming their world, taking command of its complexity and danger. 

We prefer to treat life as a problem to solve, not as a mystery to be lived. 

Because without that precious sense of control, we’re lost. 

The only problem is, that’s a boring way to live. If we pay zero attention to the craziness that’s everywhere around us, ignoring the infinite wonders that are to be found, shutting out the facets of pleasure and beauty which the world reveals to us, how the hell are we supposed to be inspired and awed? 

Cohen’s legendary interview on the creative process said it perfectly. 

If I knew where the good songs came from, I’d go there more often. Writing is a mysterious condition. It’s much like the life of a nun. You’re married to the mystery. 

Leonard reminds us, then, to accept that we do not have magical control over the world. To look closely enough to allow ourselves to be delighted. And to learn to tolerate and even love the mystery, without the need to change it and make it unmysterious. 

That’s all spirituality means. Not having a personal relationship with some invisible all powerful sky daddy, but deepening our appreciation for, consciousness of, and communion with, the grace and mystery of life. 

And so, beware of any approach to life that closes the door on mystery. 

Say yes to it. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
What are you going to do to acquaint yourself with your own mysterious nature?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Monday, June 26, 2017

Allowing yourself the small luxury

Sleep hygienists have clinically proven that waking up to an alarm clock promotes unhealthy sleep habits. 

Ideally, we should learn our circadian rhythms, control our natural cycle, wake up to the light of the morning and honor our master clock, known as the suprachiasmatic nucleus, which is located in the hypothalamus of the brain. 

Of course, let’s not overlook the emotional component to waking up without assistance. Because doing so is another opportunity for us to practice being kind to ourselves in a small, concrete way. 

Allowing ourselves the small luxury of not setting the alarm, and, perhaps more importantly, not feeling guilty, not holding a grudge toward ourselves and not overcompensating by putting in a twelve hour day to make up for lost time, is the healthiest place to be. 

Besides, sleeping less and working more is a false economy. The pressure to wake up at the crack of dawn and attack the day is mostly inherited cultural guilt and idealized social comparison. 

Not that getting an early start is a bad thing, but being in a good mood is always worth the number of hours of sleep it took to get there. We can probably accomplish in minutes what we couldn’t do for hours while we were tired. 

And in fact, people actually sleep better every night, knowing that they have personally achieved the joy they sought. 

Whereas punishing ourselves for every deviation from the perfect path is only hurting our health in the long run. 

Look, life is full of small luxuries. There are infinite opportunities throughout the day to practice being kind to ourselves. 

And in the same way that we allow ourselves a financial budget for that which delights us, we might consider extending that same rule to our temporal budget as well. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
Are you giving yourself permission to direct compassion and kindness inward? 
LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Sunday, June 25, 2017

I don't want to sail in the boat, I just like building it

Harvard’s most famous positive psychology professor writes that our culture reinforces the delusional state of chasing the ever elusive future. 

That’s why people are not compensated for enjoying the journey itself, but for the successful completion of one. Because society rewards results and arrivals, not processes and journeys. 

And the problem is, once people arrive at their destination and attain their goal, they mistake the relief that they feel for happiness. 

But it’s just a hamster wheel. It’s just another yoke we put on ourselves. Like the glassy eyed patsy at the video arcade who keeps pumping coins into the machine, only to discover that he’s playing a game of infinite levels that can’t be beat. 

I was guilty of this delusional state until my mid thirties. And the conversation inside my head was always the same. 

This is going to change everything for me. Things are going to be different from now on. 

I gave my thoughts about the future far too much airtime. I overestimated how much better the results would make my life. I allowed expectation to sneak up on me and impoverish the present. And I let the incomparable thrill of the fantasy to completely take hold of me. 

Which fed my addiction in the moment, but ultimately threw me into despair when my expectations were not fully met in the future. 

Eventually, I grew tired of the hamster wheel. 

I realized that I didn’t want to sail in the boat, I just enjoyed building it. 

And so, I finally announced to myself that I was no longer in the results business. I relaxed my armor against the present moment. I forced myself to live life in a more present way. 

And with full abandonment and indulgence in the enoughness of right now, all the preoccupations of the daily world were put in limbo. 

And miraculously, joy followed like a shadow. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
Do you view the journey as merely a series of obstacles that have to be negotiated in order to get wherever it is that you want to become?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

I can scarcely contain my glee

The paradox of happiness is, once you start looking for it, you leave it. 

Once you start measuring it, you miss it. 


And so, the solution, instead of squandering your energies trying to gauge how happy you are, or, worse yet, constantly reminding yourself of all the things you’re not happy about, start taking action in the direction of your values. 


Do whatever you have to do to flood yourself with joy that is so tangible and out front, that it’s impossible to avoid. 


That way, you become so engrossed into making meaning, so occupied with weaving your unique tapestry of pure bliss and beauty, that you don’t even have time to monitor moods. 


You’re too busy triggering gasps of delight. 


And when the day is done, you sleep well knowing that you have personally achieved the joy you sought. 


Camus famously said that you will never live if you are looking for the meaning of it. 


Perhaps it’s time to put away the existential thermometer and start engaging in activities that serve your meaning making intentions instead. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS... 

Have you contemplated what an intentional culture of joy would look like in your world? 
LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Redefining happiness to accommodate negativity

Much of life is learning to make the best of a bad situation. 

Finding ways to appraise our condition positively, taking charge of our thoughts and refusing to stop until we come out on the other side with something meaningful. 

In short, controlling our minds before our minds control us. 

Cooperider first operationalized this process on an organizational level, dubbing it appreciative inquiry. It’s an intervention program to help corporate teams investigate the best of what is, in order to imagine what could be. 

The questions they ask help focus people’s attention in a more positive direction, as opposed to assessing and evaluating situations and proposing solutions that are solely based on a deficiency. 

And so, before we make the giant leap to global negativity, marching ourselves toward an unhappy future, we inquire with the following. 

What aspects of my circumstances might I view as a gift to be treasured? 

What is the hidden treasure inside this person that maybe others don’t see? 

Rather than taking the typical torturous mental journey, this type of question allows us to replace destructive thinking patterns with healthy and positive choices that fulfill us. 

To have compassion for our bad situation and listen to the meaningful message that lay within. 

Proving, that when we recognize the value of something, we also increase it. 

And that if you look creatively enough, every side is the bright side. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
How are you redefining your version happiness to accommodate negative experiences? 
LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 

For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Friday, June 23, 2017

I find something new every time I’m with you

Coltrane’s band was famous for playing the same songs in the second set as they played in the first one, just to see if they could find something they didn’t find earlier in the evening. 

They always did. They never stepped in the same musical river twice. That’s the beauty of jazz. If you do it right, redundancy becomes a mathematical impossibility. 


What’s interesting is, the same rule can apply to our relationships. If we impose a standing order of curiosity and discovery and growth, practicing the discipline of seeing things with wide open wonder, we make it easy find something new every time we’re with each other. 


It’s all about surprise. Neuroscientists have actually conducted mountains of research on this very issue, proving that the human brain hates boredom and loves surprises. In fact, regardless of whether or not people say they like surprises, typically, life’s unexpected pleasures are more rewarding than expected ones. 


That’s all surprise is. It’s the emotion we feel when we encounter the unexpected. And if we commit to seeking what is fresh, spontaneous and interesting in the same place we looked for it yesterday, nothing can strip us of myriad opportunities for wonder. 


Every new season becomes an opportunity to grow closer to each other; to learn to understand one another's evolving needs as the years go by. And that’s a really courageous form of interpersonal growth. 


Still hoping for fresh wind. Still weaving a tapestry of pure joy and beauty. Still wanting to get lost in a private world of our own personal delight and awe. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS... 

How many of your relationships have enough uncertainty to make life sizzle and renew your sense of wonder?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 
For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Manipulation is the opposite of intimacy

Bell’s book on the spiritual dimensions of romance reminds us that love is the giving away of power. The giving up of control in the relationship. 

He suggests that there is no intimacy without vulnerability and transparency. And that to make our sacred partnerships thrive in the long term, they require a constant surrendering of all the desires within us to manipulate and change and fix the other person. 

I spent several years in a relationship that was the polar opposite of that. Of course, I was the last one to know. But that’s usually how manipulation works. It’s like a surprise party, except it’s not my birthday, there’s no cake and I’m the one footing the bill. 

Good times. 

Turns out, however, that a guy with a compulsive savior complex and a manipulator is the perform shitstorm of wonderful. I didn’t understand at the time that if your partner is telling you that you are the only thing they have to live for, that’s not a compliment, that’s manipulation. 

Because they’re making you responsible for all of their emotions. They’re convincing you to give them more than they are giving you. Like you’re the with the problem. 

It’s a power move. The opposite of intimacy. And it while it might work long enough to convince your na├»ve boyfriend to front you the money for that shitty townhouse you’ve always wanted, eventually, he’s going to wise up and get the stepping. 

The point is, you’ll never have a healthy relationship with a manipulative person. Codependency isn’t intimacy. 

If the person you love has made it their full time job to drop hints and look victimized and make you feel guilty for being happy, run. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS... 
What is it about you that always draws you into the same kind of relationship?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS... 
For the list called, "99 Ways to Think Like an Entrepreneur, Even If You Aren't One," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

Now booking for 2017-2018.

Email to inquire about fees and availability. Watch clips of 


The Nametag Guy in action here!