Grasping onto his ankles as he headed toward heaven

Ellis, the founder of rational emotive behavior theory, reminds us that the assumed catastrophic quality of most potentially unpleasant events is almost invariably highly exaggerated. 

And that the worst thing about any event is our exaggerated belief in its horror, rather than anything intrinsically horrible about it. 

It reminds me of corporate layoffs. Especially the relationship between the those who have been let go, and those who are left standing. 

For the dearly departed, so to speak, in their futile grasping for salvation, scrambling to feel better immediately, they start projecting. Saying how relieved they are to have been relieved of their duty. Vomiting their fear and aggression onto those remaining about how hard it’s going to be and what an uphill battle they have ahead of them. 

That’s what people do when they feel sad, scared and small. They stop making a difference and start making themselves feel better. 

If you find yourself on the receiving end of that toxic shit storm, remember this.

Don’t let the bad guys find a narrow opening to bring you down for trivial reasons. Don’t spend time listening to people build a case that dramatizes the situation. Don’t allow people to exaggerate their sob story just to get more pity out of you. 

Wish them well, make yourself sick with sweet gratitude about your situation, and free yourself from the pull of negative energy and get back to work. 

Trusting that it’s better to think the best of the situation and be occasionally disappointed, then to walk around with your guard up all the time. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

How will you inoculate yourself against people whose lives are a montage of crises bookended by catastrophes?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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The thirst in your soul to feel something positive

There are some people for whom it takes an overwhelming amount of energy to scrape together good spirits. 

Whether life is good, bad or somewhere in between, their default mode is to shack up with doomsday possibilities and mire themselves in negative hope. 

It’s like the world is a huge dark room in which they develop their negatives. 

Optimists, however, are people who understand the difference between today and tomorrow. And we tend to find the people described above to be toxic, deflating and exhausting. 

But what we forget is, the tension pulls both ways. Because for those of us silver lined idealists who hold the posture of possibility, those who assert our incorrigible optimism at every turn, cynics and negative people typically find us to be annoying, unrealistic and delusional. 

To them, any positive emotion is just someone fooling themselves. 

Fair enough. We accept this window into an experience of living that’s perpendicular to ours. We even learn from it. 

But we refuse to let it infect us. 

And so, anytime we catch people’s negative seeds being planted in our mind, we stop and notice. We remember that we have the power to exert a positive influence on ourselves. We pay close attention to those things that provide us with the most supportive energy. We do what it takes to keep the oxygen of optimism continually in the process. 

And we trust that whatever problem we’re battling, there will be a solution somewhere, and we’ll find it. 

Because the thirst in our soul to feel something positive, this is a gift that not everybody has. 

And it is worth protecting, nurturing and praising. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Who is trying to keep you from asserting your positive values of life?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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Under attack by an army of angry acronyms

If you’re a people pleaser who tries to avoid conflict and confrontation at all cost, it’s likely that your desire to be kind will suppress your anger. 

You will forego your real feelings to keep the peace. And as a result of that rage not being metabolized, it can turn into resentment, sarcasm, passive aggression or something worse. 

The goal, then, is not to get angry and scream and break things, but to free yourself to healthfully express your entire spectrum of emotion and become more whole. 

Masters writes about this subject in his books on intimacy and masculinity. His research explains that most of us don’t learn how to allow our anger to work for us. We never come to love our native capacity for forceful expression and claim the potency of our own power. 

What’s needed is anger that burns cleanly, he says. Expressed directly as a call to action. Leaving no smoldering pockets of resentment or ill will. Anger that comes from a place of love and asks not for domestication, but for an honoring of its wildness. 

One version of this clean anger is simply speaking up when people cross your boundaries or you upset. And so, instead of growing angry at yourself for letting people get away with treating you badly, you actually look them in the eye and say that you’re pissed at their behavior. 

That this is not okay. And that it stops now. 

Now, if you’re a people pleaser, this expression will feel very uncomfortable to you. It might even make your stomach feel queasy. That’s certainly what happens to me anytime conflict is faced head on. 

But that’s good. It means you’ve found an edge. 

And the good news is, you only have to do it once or twice to put people on notice that they will be informed when they have done something that has upset you. 

It’s amazing how far a few expressions of clean anger can go. 

Next time you’re tempted to keep the peace and be agreeable, tap into your native capacity for forceful expression. 

Just to see how it feels. You might surprise yourself. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you risking expressing your anger in constructive and healthy ways?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


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Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs

Developing a healthy dependence on other people’s support

Most of us are so unregulated emotionally
that we use everything from food to alcohol to sex to work to drugs regulate
our feelings. 

And that’s why it’s such a challenge to contain our desires and
be uncomfortable for a minute or, god forbid, a whole day. It’s far too
miserable. 

And so, we try to find in things what we are afraid to ask for from
other people. 

But if there’s anything we should learn to reach for, it’s each
other. That’s how people orient ourselves in a healthy and human way.
Connectedness becomes the frame in which we learn healthy ways to regulate our
emotions. 

Becker once wrote that the self can only be developed in
transacting with other selves. That man must be built upon the basic human
encounter, only becoming whole not in virtual of a relation to himself, but in
virtue of a relation to another self. 

Perhaps this sacred space between souls
is where science and spirituality intersect. 

Perhaps we discover our own
divinity within other people, and not from the heavens above. 

Work is a common
example. When we notice feelings of fear or sadness or anger welling up, maybe
instead of running to the office kitchen to grab another bag of candy to meet
our emotional needs, we might turn to the person next to us and ask if they
have a few minutes to chat. 

It’s certainly a riskier and more sophisticated
strategy for affect regulation. But developing a healthy dependence on other
people’s support is what will deepen our connection to the human community. 

Whereas eating or drinking or smoking our feelings will only deepen our risk
for heart attacks. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Have you accepted the people around you as your greatest assets in coping?* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


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Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs

Whatever safety and security you have persuaded yourself to settle for

It’s nice to not
want something. 



In a world where we’re constantly being told what we should
want, what we ought to have a burning desire for, what pang of longing we had
better have twitching inside of ourselves, lest we be viewed as not fully
human; it’s deeply relieving to announce with relaxed confidence, not for me. 



Without excuse or explanation or justification or guilt. 



The hard part is, we
can feel embarrassed for not wanting things. Especially those things that we’ve
been taught to want by our peers, family members, media and marketers. 



Should
we reject their expectations, they might perceive us as defective or
unmotivated or mediocre. It’s no wonder so many of us get trapped in the never
ending cycle of aspiring, seeking and achieving. Out of the fear of playing
small, we choose not to stop to relish in the peace and simplicity and
contentment of what we already have. 



Godin’s award winning blog makes the point
that this cycle of assigned wants is going to get a lot worse before it gets
better. Game theory demands it. 



And so, it comes down to a personal decision.
If we decide what you want, instead of letting someone else decide for us,
perhaps we can choose the things that would actually bring us and our loved
ones the satisfaction we can live with. 



It’s okay not to want something. It’s
okay to choose the future that’s cheaper. 



Doing so can make your life lighter,
your heart freer, your spirit quieter and your eyes softer. 



LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are you still trying hard to talk yourself into wanting something that you’ve always known deep down isn’t for you?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


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We find ourselves on an authentic adventure of aliveness

A friend of mine once wrote a brilliant essay about abandoning dreams.

Being an adult is not about abandoning your dreams. Dreams just have shorter shelf life. There isn’t an opportunity to wait five years to be the next you. It’s today. Dreams cost more because they last less long. They mature into market value sooner. 

And so, when our dreams fall by the wayside, it’s natural to feel sad and guilty and even regretful. But we should also remind ourselves of a few important things. 

First, change is taking place everywhere at every moment. Human beings are designed to outgrow everything. We can’t allow our perfectionism to make us forget that we’re engaged in a process of transformation over time. After all, all suffering arises from ignoring the way things really are. 

Second, not every dream is worth seeing through until the end. Giving up is highly underrated. Especially since our aspirations evolve over time to reflect our changing priorities. Our responsibility is to remake ourselves as we grow and as the world changes. Our commitment is to truth, not to consistency. 

The good news is, letting go of outdated dreams can be a surprisingly optimistic experience. Accepting our losses as the natural consequence of our own correct intuitive prioritizations, that buoys our faith in threatening times. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Are surrendering to life as it unfolds, or declaring war on what is?


* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


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Complaining about the future will not stop it

The range of obstacles that stand in the way of unlocking our potential are vast. 

One of the big ones, if not the biggest, is mindset. 

Which is much more than just attitude. Mindset is the intention we hold when we relate to ourselves. It’s the language we use when we talk to ourselves. The posture we take when reflect on ourselves.

Complaining, for example, is a mindset. One that demonstrates a lack of power over our attitude. One that restricts access to our unrealized potential. 

Not that there’s anything wrong with feeling our anger and outrage at the absurdity and unfairness of life. But whining about something doesn’t make it go away. It doesn’t change what is. It merely sucks the air out of any new possibilities that might be available to us. 

Weiss observed it beautifully in his personal growth newsletter. He said that the inability of an animal to complain, sue, or file a grievance is a wonderful gift. Perhaps we should give more emphasis to our reptilian brain. 

Perhaps that’s the inherent problem with our species. We think too goddamn much. Most of us never suspend our critical minds long enough to even give our true potential free reign. We’re too busy saying no and making excuses and explaining why things won’t work and buckling into the vortex of poor me. 

That’s the question that part of me wants to ask people. 

Has that mindset every helped you solve anything? 

Probably not. 

Remember, our capabilities for great things will grow in proportion with the optimism, openness and ownership of our mindset. 

And so, let us keep our ears alert to the tone of our own complaining. Let us catch ourselves in every complaint we make. Let us honestly ask if our attitude is helpful or limiting. Let us take extreme responsibility for the attitude and energy we bring to the world. 

And let us curious about how our mindset might have helped create our problem or aggravate it. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What are the giants you need to slay to make your attitude what it needs to be?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

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In defense of being cheesy

My old ad agency boss despised all things cheesy. 

Any time our team sat down for a copy review, he would red line all of the messaging that was too cute, too clever, too corny or rhymed. 

Sadly, this pretty much eliminated all of my writing. Couldn’t help myself. That style of creativity is my lifeblood. You don’t wear a nametag every day for twenty years if you’re not at least a little cheesy. Hell, I was born on valentine’s day and I host a fake gameshow. Cheesy is my birthright. 

But somewhere along the line, we decided as a society that cheesy wasn’t a compliment. 

The original definition of the word cheesy means overdramatic, clichéd, inauthentic. It comes from the root word which signals something that’s cheap or inferior. In fact, the earliest use of the word in a negative way is from a novel in the mid eighteen hundreds, where the slang word was described as a vague term of depreciation, something hackneyed and lacking subtlety. 

In that respect, being cheesy isn’t advisable. 

However, the evolution of our culture’s distaste for this word is something different. 

There is now an entire generation of people who now use the word cheesy as a blanket description for anything that is earnest, sincere, joyful, romantic, sweet, loving, generous or optimistic. 

Like giving your coworker positive feedback. Or telling people you love them. Or crying while giving a speech. That’s so cheesy. 

Or making puns. And singing pop songs out loud. Saying hello to coworkers when you arrive at the office. Also cheesy. 

But to me, anytime someone scoffs at things or behavior that they consider cheesy, what they’re really announcing to the world is:

I’m disconnected from my feelings. I’m so out of touch with joy, and so uncomfortable and suspicious of anyone who openly loves themselves and others, that I have to spew my sarcastic bile all over it to alert everyone in spitting distance just how cool I am. 

After two decades of wearing a nametag for no reason other than to connect with new people, the most common criticism people give me is, wow, that’s so cheesy. 

And my reply is always, of course it’s cheesy. That’s the whole point. Congratulations on being observant. 

My mentor wrote about this topic his bestselling book about positive attitude. Jeffrey opens with this disclaimer:

Throughout this book, I am going to share with you the quotes of other masters of attitude that have influenced me. And if you think they are cheesy, now would be a good time to give this book to somebody else. But keep tabs on who you give the book to. They’ll be the ones who become successful later in life while you’re still grumbling. 

Cheesy is valid. Cheesy means easy to read and easy to understand. 

Bottom line, if you think cheesy people aren’t gouda or even grate, then cow dairy you. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

Which aspect of your personality makes people uncomfortable?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs

Going up the existential staircase

Sometimes life feels like you’re trying to go downstairs when everybody else is coming up. 

It’s as if the whole world is conspiring against your goals. Testing you with its angry, wild and resistive energy. And with every passing second, with every bead of flop sweat that trickles down your back, you feel more and more helpless to meet your own needs. 

Like abandoned flotsam on the currents of life. 

And instead of learning how to sort and dispose of what comes at you, there’s a part of you just wants throw up your hands, impotent in the face of nature’s energy, and let the undertow carry you away. 

Graves built an entire school of thought around this experience. His psychological theory of spiral dynamics held that most human beings were confined to the lower levels of existence where they were motivated by needs shared with other animals. And so, they suffered the pangs of existence in an endless struggle with unbridled lusts and a threatening universe. 

Pretty bleak. 

In fact, few things are more demoralizing than believing you’re running your life the wrong way and feeling helpless to change it. 

But he’s not wrong. Living from a place of existential scarcity serves nobody. 

But that resistance is just a story. It’s all inside our heads. And so, in the words of my favorite lead singer, let each of us be positively inebriated with life, be true to ourselves, spiral out, keep going and keep growing. May each of us confront that existential staircase as an upward spiral. 

Let each of us find footholds of faith despite life’s opposition. 

And may each of us call upon whatever reserves of resilience are left to hurl into the future. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What will become surprisingly easier once you conquer your inner resistance?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs

Going home versus going big

Project is one of my favorite words in the dictionary. 

It derives from term proiectum, which literally translates as, something thrown forth. 

That’s inspiring to me. Because contrary to popular conditioning, it means that our projects don’t have to be these bloated, risky, overly ambitious, resource draining, revenue generating, achievement oriented endeavors. 

A project can simply be any activity that improves our personal value, regardless of outcome. It’s any pursuit that serves our meaning making efforts. And the best part is, it can be as big or as small as our life allows. 

One helpful question to ask along your project journey is:

How can you shrink the size of this project to fit your reality by keeping only the parts you love the most? 

This keeps labor intensity low and satisfaction high. It allows your projects to be chipped away at, on your own time, when you want to, not when you need to. And it reminds you that you only need to be ready to let go of all those things that aren’t you. 

Next time you feel social pressure to wake up at the crack of dawn and give one hundred and twenty percent every day until your project goes viral and starts a movement and changes the world and makes millions of dollars, try taking a breath first. 

Trust that going home is typically more relaxing, more fulfilling and more sustainable than going big. 

And throw something forth because it feels meaningful to you, not because people expect it of you. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS…

What project are you undertaking today in your life that you will be proud of ten years from now?

* * * *

Scott Ginsberg

That Guy with the Nametag

Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  

[email protected]

www.nametagscott.com

It’s the world’s first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!


Tune in and subscribe for a little execution in public.

Join our community of innovators, artists and entrepreneurs

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