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Monday, November 19, 2018

Respond peacefully no matter what answer you get

One way to work through our boundary issues is to invert the interaction. 

To consider our internal experience, both physiologically and emotionally, when other people set limits with us. 

For example, do we immediately become defensive or embarrassed when people tell us their boundaries? Or can we calmly let others draw lines in the sand without begrudging their integrity? 

Does something inside our stomach get put on alert when people are firm with us? Or are we inspired and honored when somebody loves us enough to teach us how to treat them? 

It all goes back to expectations. If we create a story inside our heads about what we think people owe us, then any boundary set with us will cause resentment. Our bodies will tighten. Our emotions will heighten. And the relationship will have unnecessary tension. 

But if we empty our mind of all the expectation, not intending to fix or save or change people, then we have ample space inside to respond peacefully, no matter what answer we get. 

That’s the thing about boundaries. Some people have a hard time saying the word no, and some people have a hard time hearing the word no. It’s a two way street. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
What happens inside your body when people set boundaries with you?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Sunday, November 18, 2018

Keep tokens of beauty present in your life

Prechtel’s poetic book about grief and praise says that beauty is anything seen, felt, or realized that charms or delights the better part of us into wanting to live on, in order to see, feel and understand more without the scared part of us being in charge of what it wants the world to be. 

Attesting, that beauty is more than simple aesthetic pleasure. True beauty binds us to it. It strips us naked by its presence. 

Moore echoed this sentiment in his book about spiritual healthcare, citing that beauty is anything that vaccinates the soul and creates a sense of delight and expansiveness in our bodies. Beauty offers temporary relief from worry and pain and brings us closer to the sublime, which is the region of the divine. 

When we actually slow down enough to allow that experience to happen, it’s literally magic. 

There’s a mystical union with life and the world around us. And it becomes a moment where you’re happy to be alive and want to live forever. 

What’s interesting is, this beauty is never not there. It has an infinite time clock. The problem is when we shut ourselves off from it. When our standard operating procedure becomes running around all day with our hair on fire, dealing with twenty things at once. 

That’s when we become too busy and driven to be able to receive what is rightfully ours. 

And so, if we are bothered by a lack of beauty in our life, it’s probably because we’ve turned ourselves into machines. Because we have given in to the resistance, which is any force that tries to prevent beauty. 

Koppleman’s tragic film about substance addiction and its destructive powers says it best. 

Every moment of beauty goes away. But then there's another one. And another one. And another one. You just have to be alive to see it. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you keeping tokens of beauty present in your life?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Saturday, November 17, 2018

Better to destroy yourself than create opportunities for other people to do it for you

In order to leap forward into new artistic possibilities, every creator must be willing to destroy what they’ve created. 

And not physically, of course. Hendrix setting fire to his guitar was legendary and rebellious and punk rock and everything, but for most of us, it’s not exactly a scalable growth strategy. 

That’s why we expand our definition of the word destroy. 

To destroy is to lay waste. Meaning, stripping away all the attitudes and ideas and goals and projects that no longer serve the person you’re becoming. 

To destroy is to put an end to. Meaning, letting go of the activities that you only engaged in because of other people’s expectations. 

To destroy is to remove structure. Meaning, snapping your brain, body, and body of work out of all their normal routines and patterns and safe places so they can run free. 

To destroy is to defeat completely. Meaning, untrapping yourself from your signature work, even if that’s what your audience now wants and demands from you. 

To destroy is to take away power. Meaning, remove all the parts of your work that are dictated by the marketplace pure commodity and nowhere near the razor’s edge. 

Sound violent? You’re right. It sure is. 

But hey, better to destroy yourself than create opportunities for other people to do it for you. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you willing to destroy the light, go into the darkness and become transformed by the experience and come out more alive?
* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Friday, November 16, 2018

What allows you to bring quality energy to the world?

There’s nothing more powerful than saying no to people. For us and for them. 

But if you struggle to believe that, perhaps a little reframing is in order to snap you out of your codependent tendencies. 

Think of this way. 

When we say no, we are not rejecting another person, we are simply refusing a request. When we say not, we are not criticizing another person, we are simply asking for what we need. Expressing our reality clearly. 

Therefore, even if saying no sounds like the hardest and most demanding response in the world, we have to trust that it is an act of love. Towards ourselves and others and the world in which we all live. 

Saying no is an instrument of integrity and a shield against exploitation. Saying no is what allows us to bring quality energy to the world. Saying no is the fundamental strategy we have for setting real boundaries. 

And doing so won’t tilt the world on its axis. Ever. Promise. Quite the opposite, in fact. 

My entrepreneur friend has a great saying he uses with highly demanding clients. 

I am not telling you how to run your business, I am educating you about how I run my business. 

Now that’s power. 

Remember, saying no protects both parties. 

Don’t let poor boundaries disguise themselves as compassion. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
What’s the most painful boundary you’ve set?
* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Thursday, November 15, 2018

Staying trapped in the slavery of reaction

Most of our automatic reactions to things are dead wrong. 

Our first thoughts are usually childish reactions. Ancient habitual responses that take us on ride along the superhighway of emotional reactivity. And if we don’t pause and deepen our attention and intention, we’ll continue to the live out the same patterns. 

Becker's book on the birth and death of meaning once made the case that what we call the mind is merely the style of reaction of an organism to its environment. 

Best definition of all time. Proving, that true freedom comes from the ability to be in control of what we do with our thoughts, feelings and reactions. Response flexibility, to use a term from the psychotherapy lexicon. It’s the ability to pause before we act, and the mindfulness to use that gap to create a better outcome. 

But it’s harder than it sounds. Attention and intention require real inner work. 

One way to begin improving response flexibility is to get very good at identifying where we’re being too reactive. For example, we consider some of the moments and situations that set off a chain reaction of anxiety for us. 

Perhaps it’s when our spouse tries to micromanage our lives and we instantly shrink into the teenage version of ourselves. 

Perhaps it’s when an especially negative story in the news triggers the cynical part of our personality that we’re not proud of expressing. 

Perhaps it’s when our boss gives us critical feedback that assaults our sense of competence and makes us feel like a useless office ornament. 

No situation is right or wrong, good or bad, black or white, it just is. And our job as emotionally healthy individuals is to not stay trapped in the slavery of reaction. 

To react, after all, is to use these situations as ammunition against ourselves. 

Instead, we take a moment to notice, name and hopefully press the pause button on our usual pinball reactions to life. It’s the healthiest first step of all. 

Simply deepen attention and intention, and trust that the rest will follow. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you sabotaging yourself by reacting in ways that do not serve your true interests?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Tuesday, November 13, 2018

The journey we make back to ourselves

Once you finally come to terms with your workaholism, several things start to happen. 

You liberate yourself from the crippling guilt of people pleasing and approval seeking. Instead of convincing yourself that you will take care of your own needs tomorrow, you can actually take time for yourself. Because you’re not too scared to stop. You slow down and let people back into your life. 

Instead of forcing family and friends to rearrange their time spent with you around your work, you can actually be there for them. Because you’re not afraid to give up work for a moment and allow yourself the connection you need. You give yourself permission to live in the natural joy of your highest nature. 

Instead of trying to control everybody and everything, you trust the natural flow your experiences. Because you have surrendered your sense of drama and authority. You open yourself to a world you were too busy to enjoy before. 

Instead making unreasonable demands on yourself by scheduling far more than you can handle, peace is finally a possibility. Because you know that you don’t have to do all those things for people to love you. You grow truly comfortable with lightness. 

Instead of kindling the fires of heroic achievement at every turn, there is a part of you that’s finally resting. Because you abandoned the illusion that you must always be in the process of accomplishing something worthwhile in order to feel good about yourself. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
How will your life look different when adrenaline seeking loses its hold on you?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Monday, November 12, 2018

Creating a wider and deeper sense of emotional ownership

We are told there is nothing new under the sun. 

But considering the sun is eight hundred and sixty thousand miles in diameter, if we can’t find anything new under it, then perhaps we aren’t looking hard enough. 

That’s the reality nobody wants to talk about. The fact that we are limited only by the scope of our own imaginations. That ownership is not a set of legal rights, it’s a state of mind. 

The good news is, as creative individuals, we can richly bless our life by bringing the same imagination to it that we bring to our art. We can actually use our creative gifts to make a tangible difference in the way we experience the world. 

It’s an underestimated benefit of being an artist. 

Consider those moments when we experience pain, loss or disappointment. These misfortunes happen to all of us. But what doesn’t happen in all of us is the willingness to look a little deeper to find the gifts in the experience.

We might ask this question. 

What aspects of my circumstances might I view as a gift to be treasured? 

That’s a basic cognitive reframe. Consciously reinterpreting our situation in a more positive light. Gaining more of an awareness of the story we’re telling ourselves. And without imagination, that can’t happen. 

My company launched a useful software application to help you ask these kinds of questions. Think of it as a creative framework for increasing the rate of return on your life’s experiences, and for creating story that can lead your thoughts in a fresh direction. 

Moore said it best in his book about fulfilling the needs of our souls:

Slight shifts in imagination have more impact on living than major efforts at change. Deep changes in life follow movements in imagination. 

Proving, that how we respond to the world is ours alone. Especially if we’re creative people. And if we can keep that flag of imagination furled, then can cease to be at the mercy of ourselves and blow the ceiling off of anything resembling a limitation. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...

What’s your strategy for taking extreme ownership of your world? 

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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Sunday, November 11, 2018

When our story starts to matter

Twain famously said that the two most important days in your life are the day you are born, and the day you find out why. 

It’s an inspiring message to comprehend your true purpose as a human being. 

However, there’s a missing step in the process. Because although it’s meaningful to recognize our reasons for being on this earth, if we fail to take action on those reasons, then we still haven’t done anything. We’re still just winking in the dark. 

And so, perhaps there’s a third most important day of our lives. Perhaps our story truly starts to matter when we actually make a difference in the world with the talents we’ve been given. 

And the key word being talents, not talent. Plural, not singular. Because single assets in isolation don’t have much value. What matters is the whole portfolio working together. What matters is the emergence of our talents coming alive as their elements are integrated into one another. 

Adams, the world’s most successful cartoonist, appropriately named this principle our talent stack. It’s the overall value or sum of an individual’s skills. He writes that a talent stack is optimized for exactly what you are doing in the world, right now. We can forget about the pressure of being the absolute expert or the world’s greatest of any of those skills. Because it’s their combined power that makes them so handy. 

And the good news is, anyone can develop a more valuable talent stack. 

First, you have to figure out which of your talents go well together. 

Next, you have to package them in an interesting way that also creates value for others. 

Finally, you have to learn to be comfortable with your own power to make an impact with those talents. 

With that formula, you will unlock your ability to make an impact. 

Twain was accurate when he said that your understanding of your own purpose is an important day. 

But remember, it’s not the only important day. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
Are you willing to release yourself from the burden of greatness make a plan to get the most out of the modest talents you already possess?

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

It's the world's first, best and only product development and innovation gameshow!

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