Thursday, November 02, 2017

Even the slightest tremors block the flow of love

Newton’s third law is a brilliant piece of interpersonal advice. 

He discovered that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. 

Which not only applies to objects in motion, but also humans in relationship. 

Because the space between two people is generative. Whatever one person brings into that space, it will multiply exponentially and affect the other. 

Stress is a common example. Once we’re in relationship with someone, be it a friend or a boss or a spouse, we must be sensitive to anxiety’s role in the quality of that relationship.  Acknowledging that our incessant agonizing over life’s intolerable burdens and anxieties is a battle that can have significant collateral damage. 

A few years ago, my business went through a frighteningly long dry spell. My calendar was barren, my pipeline was bone dry and I couldn’t close a sale to save my life. 

As a result, I felt deeply underwhelmed the sheer lack activity on my plate. My zest for life hit an all time low. And I couldn’t muster the momentum to catapult myself out of the slump. 

Until one day my wife said:

I noticed you haven’t made the bed in the past two weeks. What’s wrong? 

Apparently I was so mired in my own misery that I stopped executing basic household chores. And I love making the bed. But because I was being stoic and keeping my feelings buried and not saying anything and trying to stonewall the anxiety away, it didn’t occur to me that my attitude might be affecting the space between us. 

Even the slightest tremors can block the flow of love. If we don’t take responsibility for the energy we bring to our relationships, the laws of motion will throw both people off balance.

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
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