Saturday, October 28, 2017

Asserting mastery of our own little world

Our reluctance to ask for help often stems from the childhood need for individuation, agency, efficacy and power. 

Somewhere inside of us, there’s still that petulant little toddler trying to prove to himself and to the world that he’s big and strong and can sit at the big boy table and play with the grownups and build a giant sand castle all by himself. 

As if to pout and cry, just go away, I don’t want your help, and I don’t need your help! 

In short, asserting mastery of our own little world. 

Which I can appreciate, coming from the freelance world, where doing everything myself as often the smartest, cheapest, fastest and in many cases, the only choice I have. 

But I also wonder, at what point does my stubborn insistence on doing everything myself work against me? When does my deep seeded need to feel big and strong and powerful and independent limit my growth? 

And the answer is, when I finally admit that the characteristic that got me where I am is also very thing that’s holding me back. 

That my excessive need to be me, exalting my faults as virtues simply because they’re who I am, is actually thwarting my progress. 

Viorst calls these moments of letting go necessary losses. Giving up certain cherished parts of ourselves in the name of growth. 

Her words helped me realize that as much as my ego wants to remain dead set on going it alone, the reality is, nobody has ever actually done anything alone. 

And so, perhaps it’s time for me to find the wherewithal to get out of my own way and become a champion of other people’s strengths. 

That’s the growth challenge for each of us. 

To figure out how to let go of what we are, so that we can become what we might be. 

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
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