Thursday, August 17, 2017

Borrowing from your own integrity to fund other people’s happiness

Boundary guilt occurs when we set a limit that reinforces our integrity, but then have to watch others bear their own consequences and struggle to take care of themselves. 

It’s this weird version of buyer’s remorse. 

The minute we step off the used car lot of life, we start questioning ourselves. 

Maybe I was being selfish. Or too harsh. Or not compassionate enough with that person. 

But in that moment when we’re tempted to abandon our integrity, we must remember a few things. 

First, each of us aspires to make ourselves proud by manifesting our values. And so, we rejoice that there is something in this world that we will not bargain with. We recognize that living in universe where our values have been successfully achieved is what it means to be human. 

Secondly, setting boundaries on other people’s expectations on what we’re capable of doing means being okay with those people being uncomfortable. Let them feel that way. Repeat no until you are heard. It’s a small price to pay for the glory of your soul. 

Finally, when people attempt to violate your boundaries, it’s a perfect opportunity to better understand who you are and what’s important to you, and to develop the voice to declare your cherished values. 

Remember, poor boundaries can disguise themselves as compassion. 

Don’t let guilt shut down your intuitive inklings. 

Don’t borrow from your own integrity to fund other people’s happiness. 

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Is there anything you’re still doing or not doing because of guilt? 
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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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