Sunday, February 12, 2017

Standing as compassionate witnesses to our pain

Consider these two truths of the human experience. 

One, there’s potential for anxiety in almost everything around us. Daily life is littered with triggers. 


Two, connectedness is the frame in which human beings heal. Change is an interpersonal experience. 


And so, when the storm of anxious thoughts moves through, the worst thing we can do is isolate. The worst thing we can do is suffer silently and secretly. The worst thing we can do is cast the unnecessary burden upon ourselves, thinking that we are freakishly different and doomed. 


Isolation is about the most damaging psychological state imaginable. What we need is a healthy doze of relational engagement. Mutual enhancement. Brains healing brains. Social mirrors reflecting our beautiful realities back to us. 


I have a friend who recently split up with his longtime girlfriend. Everyone was shocked. People were convinced that they both had signed on for the long haul. But things happen. Lovers grow apart. Not every couple is destined to be the ones who make it all the way. 


It breaks my heart every time, especially because I’ve been in that very situation before. 


But what I learned was, we can’t isolate in the aftermath. We have to stay connected with people who can stand as compassionate witnesses to our pain. It’s available to us as soon as we’re available to it. 


And so, next time somebody you love hits a rough patch, stay in contact. Call them every single week. Invite them to as many meetups and parties and potlucks as you possibly can. 


Because when you’re felling like hell, the tendency to isolate and stay indoors and disconnect from the world can be awfully tempting. 


Sure feels soothing to have people you love take that first step. 


LET ME ASK YA THIS... 

What person in your life right now needs to an excuse to get the hell out of the house?

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* * * *

Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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