Friday, May 27, 2016

It doesn’t matter if they’re dopey, it matters that they’re yours

Boundary setting tools don’t have to make sense. Or appear logical. Or even be cost effective. 

They just have to work for you. They have to allow you feel okay with yourself and create meaning in accordance with your values. 

I have a friend who stays in a hotel every time she goes home to visit her family for the holidays. Which seems redundant and expensive and possibly even insulting to her relatives, but considering how large and chaotic her family can be, the hotel is the only way for her to guarantee her privacy, manage her time and keep herself sane. 

It wasn’t an easy decision to make, she tells me. In fact, it was painful the first time she did it. Feelings of guilt and shame and resentment bubbled to the surface like a hot spring. Her parents insisted she was being ridiculous. 

And yet, she had the courage to stand up for her boundaries and tell her family, well, tough shit. These are my needs right now. 

Sure enough, the family got over it. They respected her space. And now, whenever she comes to visit, everyone can just relax. 

Proving, that constraints are the only things that truly set you free. It doesn’t matter if they’re dopey, it matters that they’re yours. You do whatever you have to do to be okay with yourself. 

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What will it cost you not to stand up for your boundaries right now?
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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com


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