Thursday, October 29, 2015

A loving landfill for everybody else’s trash

Some people are simply overwhelming. They’re exhausting to be around. Communicating with them is not a relaxing experience. In fact, every time we interact with them, it feels like there’s this dam of what they need to say built up behind them, and we’re the one they need to unleash it upon. 

Blech

It’s completely draining. And the problem is, when we’re hardwired to fix and help and encourage and inspire the people around us, it’s hard to walk away from that conversation. Because doing so would be inconsistent with the noble and benevolent and heroic picture we hold of ourselves. 

Story of my life. Being oppressively helpful, taking burdens that are not mine to carry, taking up crosses that are not mine to bear. 

The good news is, as I get older and, consequently, become a stronger advocate for my own boundaries, I’ve learned how to keep my internal superhero at bay. I’ve recognized that I don’t owe it to every person I encounter to be a captive audience to them. 

Yes, it’s essential to be an empathetic listener for those who matter most, but it’s not my job to make sure everyone around me is okay. There’s no rule that says I have to take responsibility for other people’s feelings. I have a hard enough time working through my own shit, much less becoming a loving landfill for everybody else’s. 

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Where are you not advocating for your boundaries?

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Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Inventor. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter.  
scott@hellomynameisscott.com
www.nametagscott.com

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