Friday, December 19, 2014

Enjoy an adventure in restraint

It’s tempting to try to solve people’s problems too quickly. 

But you can’t help yourself. When somebody flatters you with their need for guidance and insight and counsel, something about their words activates the problem solving impetus of your brain. And you immediately go to work trying to finding solutions for them. 

Unfortunately, this can backfire. You can become oppressively helpful. You can add too much value, amp ourselves up into a intellectual fervor, wondering why they’re not as excited about this idea as we are. And as a result, your relentless generosity actually deflates their enthusiasm and dampers their commitment to finding answers on their own. 

Woops. 

When I first started coaching creative professionals on how to become more prolific, I quickly learned how to keep my problem solving mechanism in check. Yes, there were clients with whom I needed to be firm and direct. Yes, there were times when I need to disturb people into take action. But in many cases, what people needed was someone to grant them the space to solve their own problems. 

Because in the end, you can’t convince people to change, you can only give them more information. 

Next time you’re given the opportunity to advise and mentor others, enjoy an adventure in restraint. Whitman knew what he was talking about when he said, now I, not anyone else, can travel that road for you, you must travel it for yourself. 

LET ME ASK YA THIS...
What happened to the last person you tried to fix?

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* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author. Speaker. Strategist. Filmmaker. Publisher. Songwriter. 
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

Never the same speech twice. Customized for your audience. Impossible to walk away uninspired.

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