Thursday, November 07, 2013

Whoever Said Love Is Free, Wasn’t Doing It Right

Love means changing our pronouns.

Understanding that every action we take has an equal an opposite reaction on someone else. Remembering that most decisions can’t be made unilaterally. And letting go of a life that’s solely focused on executing our own will.

In short, surrendering to the alchemy of we.

It’s a scary change. Maybe the scariest. Especially when all of our routines and behaviors and activities were perfectly tuned to the key of I.

But we can’t stay inside our own selfish needs forever.

Eventually, you gotta extend your arm.

Still, what makes the change worthwhile is the reward that’s waiting on the other side.

A new way of being.

One that makes us feel more adult and alive and whole. One that changes what we see when we see people.

You were the music I was waiting to hear. You were the life I was waiting to live.

That’s what I said when my pronouns changed. That’s what we meant to me.

We meant sharing the journey with others. We meant leaping headlong into dance of closeness. We meant connecting to something bigger than the individual. We meant engaging in a broader role in the human family. We meant my best and highest self bubbled to the surface in the presence of others.

And, here's what we means to a few of my heroes:

Like Jack Johnson says, we’re better when we’re together.
Like Ryan Adams says, it takes two when it used to take one.
Like Margaret Mead says, what a desert life might have been without them.

Man. Just the best lesson I’ve learned in years.

Change your pronouns, change your life.

Yes, it’s an expensive process.

But whoever said love is free, wasn’t doing it right.