Monday, April 25, 2011

How to Secure a Spot in Someone’s Heart, Part 1

Being remembered has less to do with you, and more to do with how people experience themselves in relation to you.

Because in my experience:

It’s not who you know.
It’s whose life is better because they know you.

It’s not being the life of the party.
It’s bringing other people to life at the party.

It’s not making people fall in love with you.
It’s helping people fall in love with themselves.

That’s how you achieve heartshare, not just mindshare.

THE QUESTION IS: How do you want to leave people?

If you want to secure a spot in someone’s heart, consider these ideas:
1. Leave people shoved. Petition them to take the plunge. Challenge them to play for keeps. And show them what they can’t see for themselves. Did you disrupt their inertia?

2. Leave people speechful. If people are speechless, you’re doing something wrong. Interacting with you should invite people to talk more. Did you excavate their brilliance?

3. Leave people disturbed. Picasso said, “You have to wake people up. To revolutionize their way of identifying things. You’ve got to create images they won’t accept.” Did you evoke emotion?

4. Leave people faithful. Your story should lay naked your belief. Then make them believe. Then make them proud to take the first step. Did you let people pick up where you left off?

5. Leave people essential. Making them feel valued, important and special isn’t enough. They need to know their work matters. That they’d be missed when they’re gone. Did you show them you’d crumble without them?

6. Leave people honored. Respond positively to their unique experience of the world. Look them in the eye and tell them how great their ideas are, no matter how big or small. Did you respond to them with fundamental affirmation?

7. Leave people impressed. Not with you, but with themselves. All you have to do is put their brilliance on display; then give them a front row seat. Did you become a stand for their greatness?

8. Leave people reevaluating. If you can reset the compass in people’s brain so they can better feel what’s important in life, they’ll never forget you. Did you invite them to confront what matters?

9. Leave people alive. Helping someone live life is the ultimate human connection. And if you can help them embed their passion into the pavement of the conversation, they’ll never forget you. Are you asking people about the weather or their passion?

10. Leave people liberated. Create a safe place where individual creativity can shine. Petition people to inject their personality into everything they do. And make no restrictions on self-expression. Who are you asking to edit themselves?

11. Leave people seen. You look with your eyes, but seeing is something you do with the heart. Try this: Instead of handling them, treat them. And instead of manipulating them, harmonize with them. Did you make anyone feel invisible this week?

12. Leave people breathless. Bother to show up when you’re scared. Tell the truth when there’s no reason to be honest. And dare to care when it’s inconvenient. In your rarity, you will become remarkable. Did you make them gasp?

13. Leave people validated. Not everybody needs information. Sometimes they just need affirmation of what they were already thinking, and verification that they weren’t completely crazy. How do you make people feel not alone?

14. Leave people heard. Put up a verbal mirror so others might experience themselves as you do. Show them their words have weight by taking notes on the conversation, then emailing them a copy five minutes later. Did you reflect their reality back to them?

15. Leave people able. People love to hear how great they are; but they long to hear how great you’ve become because of who they are. Tell them often. Do you make people conscious of their own capabilities?

16. Leave people connected. Position yourself as a catalyst for connection. Because sometimes the best way to secure a spot in someone’s heart is to secure them a spot in someone else’s. Are you a master of the email introduction?

REMEMBER: Memorability pivots on the fulcrum point of better.

Refuse to leave people where they are.

Focus on how they experience themselves in relation to you.

And you’ll secure a spot in their hearts forever.

Whose life is better because you’re a part of it?

For a list called, "134 Questions Every Salesperson Should Ask," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Publisher, Artist, Mentor

“I usually refuse to pay for mentoring. But after Scott’s first brain rental session, the fact that I had paid something to be working with him left my mind – as far as I was concerned, the value of that (and subsequent) exchange of wisdom and knowledge, far outweighed any payment."

--Gilly Johnson The Australian Mentoring Center

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