Monday, November 30, 2009

42 Additional Things You Should Never Apologize For (And Why)

Read Part 1 of this post here!

38. Never apologize for ordering dessert. Especially if the menu offers one of those chocolate volcano brownie thingies. (Insert Homer Simpson drooling sound.)

39. Never apologize for pulling your triggers for joy. Screw it. If it makes you happy, do it. Unless strangling people with Ethernet cables makes you happy.

40. Never apologize for reclaiming what is rightfully yours. There’s a difference between entitlement and basic human rights.

41. Never apologize for rooting for the Yankees. Even if they do buy their way to victory. They’re still the greatest sports franchise in the history of the world. Do the math and show some respect.

42. Never apologize for saying how you feel. That’s like saying sorry for being real.

43. Never apologize for saying no. Especially when you’re doing so to reinforce your boundaries and create a space for the right “yes” to come into your life.

44. Never apologize for self-promotion. It’s not shameless when all you’re doing is transferring your love. That’s what self-promotion truly is: Transference of emotion. Remember: If you don’t make a name for yourself, someone will make one for you. Just don’t be too shameless.

45. Never apologize for setting high standards and enforcing them. Ditch those frightened people who tell you to play smaller just to appease their insecurity. Try telling them to play bigger.

46. Never apologize for sharing your gifts and talents with the world. This is the purpose of your life and the validation of your existence. To take whatever unique gift you’ve been given and re-gift it to the world. Not doing so isn’t just selfish – it’s stupid.

47. Never apologize for speaking your mind. Honesty makes people uncomfortable. Good. Comfortable people rarely take action.

48. Never apologize for sticking to your values. Especially if you’re only doing so to avoid making someone else uncomfortable. Tough shit. If people can’t handle someone who stands up for what he believes, that’s their problem.

49. Never apologize for taking a break. Learning to press your Off Button is the single most important lesson you could ever learn.

50. Never apologize for telling an unpopular truth. Honest trumps comfort.

51. Never apologize for telling the truth. You’re doing people a favor. Especially yourself. Honesty is the single source of all the world’s stress.

52. Never apologize for things that make you laugh your ass off. Funny is funny. Don’t feel bad for laughing. Don’t look to see if the King laughed. Just let the humor wash over you. It’s healthy.

53. Never apologize for things you can’t change. Instead, figure out what you CAN change and get to work.

54. Never apologize for thinking something was possible. That’s what possiblitarians do. They walk around the problems mentally and prayerfully and see what they see. They face problems artfully and lovingly enough to convert them into something beautiful. They believe.

55. Never apologize for treating yourself to something special. I call it a “Victory Dance.” It’s about celebration. It’s about ritual. It’s about rewarding yourself.

56. Never apologize for voicing a reasonable complaint. When everyone assumes somebody is going to say something, nobody says anything. It’s called diffusion of involvement, and it’s the murderer of the collective voice of man. Don’t feel bad for complaining. As long as you suggest three actions for every one complaint, you’re all right in my book. Unless your complaint is about my book. In which case we might actually have a problem.

57. Never apologize for walking away from a relationship that was holding you back from being the best version of yourself. Even when delivering the death stroke causes your partner significant pain. Don’t say you’re sorry. You might feel terrible. You might feel like a horrible person. And you might feel more guilt than ever before in your life. But don’t say you’re sorry. Those words help nobody.

58. Never apologize for what needed to be done. You were kind, honest and true; and it was the right thing to do. Good for you.

59. Never apologize for what you don’t feel. That’s a betrayal of your truth. And saying sorry for doing so compounds your inauthenticity.

60. Never apologize for what you’re about to say. Immediate personal discounting denotes lack of confidence and reduces listenability.

61. Never apologize for what’s important to you. If you do, then it’s probably not that important to you.

62. Never apologize for who you really are. Brag about it. Shout it from the rooftops.

63. Never apologize for your art. That defeats the whole purpose of creating art.

64. Never apologize for your attempts at humor. Even if they’re totally lame.

65. Never apologize for your boundaries. They are limits that promote integrity. And if you don’t set them for yourself, others will set them for you.

66. Never apologize for your brand. Branding is the best, highest version of yourself – (plus) – the way people experience themselves in relation to you. Not everyone will like it. And if everybody does, you’re doing something wrong.

67. Never apologize for your displays of affection. My quota is to say, “I love you” to at least one person a day. What’s yours?

68. Never apologize for your enthusiasm. Next time someone tells you to “tone it down” a little, look her straight in the eye and say, “How about you tone it UP a little?”

69. Never apologize for your faith. You’re entitled to your own definition of God. Just promise not to beat people over the head with it.

70. Never apologize for your fundamental values. That’s who you are. At your core. Your personhood. Your foundation. That’d be like a cayenne paper saying sorry for being spicy. Not cool.

71. Never apologize for your happiness. Especially when people get on your case for being in such a good mood. Just smile and hope it rubs off.

72. Never apologize for your natural abilities. Instead, leverage that which comes easy to you in the service of others.

73. Never apologize for your obsessions. As long as your obsessions aren’t hurting others or the world – have at it, hauss.

74. Never apologize for your own sense of beauty. If it touches your heart, ignites your soul or moves your spirit, it’s beautiful. To you. Doesn’t matter if it’s a bald eagle, a song by The Smiths or puddle of mud outside of Bob Evan’s. Beauty is subjective and nobody has the right to take it away from you.

75. Never apologize for passionately going for what you want. Stop kidding yourself about the things that you “need.” It’s all about what you WANT. And there’s nothing wrong with wanting.

76. Never apologize for your pricing. You deserve to be compensated commensurate with your value. State your feel confidently and shut up. He who speaks next, loses.

77. Never apologize for your success. Instead, figure out the lessons attached to your victory path and share them with others.

78. Never apologize for your taste. Guilty pleasures, schmilty pleasures. If you love reading trashy romance novels that use words like “throbbing member” and have Fabio on the cover, go for it.

79. Never apologize for your value. You worked very hard to establish it and you’ll be damned if you’re going to back down now. Stand up, speak up and sell the hell out of it.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
What do you refuse to apologize for?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS...
For the list called, "37 Personal Leadership Questions Guaranteed to Shake Your Soul," send an email to me, and you win the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

If they can't come UP to you; how will they ever get BEHIND you?

Buy Scott's new book and learn daily practices for becoming a more approachable manager!

Pick up your copy (or a case!) right here.