Wednesday, January 28, 2009

6 Ways to Monopolize the Listening

My doctor, the great Steve Edmundowicz,, once told me, “If I listen to my patients, they give me their diagnosis. If I listen to my patients long enough, they give themselves their cure.”

LESSON LEARNED: Monopolize the listening.

That means patience. Breathing. Relaxing. Affirming. Acknowledging. Questioning.

“Loving someone with your ears,” as I officially define listening.

So, whoever you are, whatever your role is, whenever you’re listening and whomever you're listening to, your goal is simple: Judge nothing. Accept everything. Facilitate someone's understanding.

For growing bigger ears, that’s pretty much it!

Here’s a list of seven practices to help you monopolize the listening:

1. Ask without expecting answers. Enter the conversation with curiosity. Just ponder the question. Listen to the type of thinking your question provokes.

2. Attend to someone’s energy. It’s a gateway into the domains of their lives. Sense it.

3. Begin the exploration. Because listening is archaeological in nature, your task is to explore the energy and emotion behind a subject. To facilitate an exploration of the other person’s experiences.

4. Let people be wrong. This isn’t the same thing as YOU being right. This is about having trust that people’s inner resources will serve them. This is about enabling them to discover their own solutions within, using you as a pointer.

5. Knock, but don’t enter. Illuminate the truth and help them recognize it. Let someone's brain take them where it wants to go.

6. Build a space. Allow space for people to hear themselves so they can feel the impact of what they just said. Give them the choice to continue and elaborate. Allow people to hear themselves through pausing, note taking, asking them to repeat something or repeating their exact words back to them.

REMEMBER: If you listen, people will tell you their problem. But if you MONOPOLIZE the listening, people will give themselves their solution.

LET ME ASK YA THIS…
How do you monopolize the listening?

LET ME SUGGEST THIS...
For the list called, "17 Behaviors to Avoid for Effective Listening," send an email to me, and I'll send you the list for free!

* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
Author, Speaker, Coach, Entrepreneur
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

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