Wednesday, February 27, 2008

68 Things Employees Never Want to Hear Their Manager Say























1. Better luck next time.
2. Can I see you for a second?
3. Close the door.
4. Conditions were different when I said that.
5. Discussion is over.
6. Don’t bother me right now.
7. Don’t bring me problems; bring me solutions.
8. Everybody’s doing it.
9. Get out!
10. Guess what I’ volunteering you for?
11. Here, you handle this problem. I’m busy.
12. Here’s what you’re doing wrong.
13. I can't help it if it's your day off.
14. I don’t care if it’s your day off.
15. I don’t have time for you right now.
16. I don't want to hear it.
17. I know it’s a holiday, but…
18. I know it’s Saturday, but…
19. I know it’s your day off, but…
20. I need to have a word with you.
21. I need you to do this.
22. I never said that!
23. I’m not the problem, you are.
24. I’m right, you’re wrong.
25. I’m too busy to listen.
26. If you could go ahead and drop off those TPS reports, that would be grrrrreeeeat.
27. If you have anything to say, keep it to yourself.
28. In case a bus hits you, I want to make sure you and Karen are inter-changeable.
29. Is this YOUR bag of drugs?
30. It doesn’t matter.
31. It was political.
32. It’s not my fault; I didn’t know the law.
33. Merit didn't have anything to do with it.
34. My mind is made up.
35. No, I don’t understand and I probably never will.
36. Nobody will know.
37. Oh, we’re finished.
38. Some you win; some you lose.
39. That’s horrible! Do it over.
40. That’s how it’s always been done.
41. That’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.
42. The schedule is already made up.
43. There’s no problem.
44. Those are breaks of the game.
45. Try paying attention to what you’re doing.
46. We aren’t the problem, they are.
47. We’re replacing you with this robot…
48. We’re right, they’re wrong.
49. We’ve already tried that before.
50. What's your name again?
51. Who the hell is responsible for this?
52. You brought this on yourself.
53. You can leave now.
54. You can’t go to church – you have to work.
55. You don’t really feel that way.
56. You got into this mess, now you get out of this mess.
57. You haven’t worked here long enough.
58. You putz; can you do ANYTHING right?
59. You should have known better.
60. You’re fired.
61. You’re not allowed to say that.
62. You’re not educated enough.
63. You’re not living up to your potential.
64. You’re not ready.
65. You’re wrong.
66. You’ve got a looooong way to go before we give you any new responsibilities.
67. Your office chair didn’t show up so you’ll be sitting on orange crates for the next two weeks.
68. You're going to do it because I say you're going to do it. Now move!

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* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
That Guy with the Nametag
scott@hellomynameisscott.com

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