After a recent speech to Cornerstorne Financial Group's agency meeting, a woman in the audience talked about one of her self-admitted barriers to communication.
"I'm guilty of crossing my arms. I do it all the time! And I know it's a communication no-no; but I can't help it because it's comfortable and warm for me."
My response was, "Perhaps...but that probably means it's NOT comfortable and warm for other people when they're trying to talk to you."
Speaking of which, check out this related article from 2003 called Why Aren't You Talking To Me?
LET ME ASK YA THIS...
How do you perceive people who cross their arms?
* * * *
Scott Ginsberg
Author/Speaker/That guy with the nametag
www.hellomynameisscott.com
Friday, June 24, 2005
Would YOU talk to someone who looked like this?
12:11 PM
6 comments
6 comments:
LOL! It depends on how they have their arms crossed.
There is the "it's a little chilly and I'm wearing short sleeves - snuggled arm crossing" where women cover their elbows with their hands. That doesn't say "back off to me" becuase I can understand it.
Then there's the usual, arms in a pretzel style arms crossing - that says with disdane "I'm listening to you why?"
:) Kelly
its true, people with arms crossed can be a communication no-no, however i also think that it will depends how the person look at me (eyes contact) and the tone of her voice, even if she have the arms crossed
It sure scares me to talk to someone like that. Just yesterday I was talking to three other collegues about a potentially explosive subject... by the end of the conversation, all three had their arms crossed and were looking in other directions.
What about the half-cross (one arm across the mid section with other arm bent at 90 degrees with elbow rested on hand of crossed arm and chin rested in hand of the bent arm. Does that indicate listening intently and focused on what you are saying? I think the half-bend sends a good message. What do you think?
Hey Shirley! Nice to hear from ya. Hope CBG is still #1 in St. Louis.
You asked a great question. And I think the "half-bend" gesture is a sure fire way to show someone that you're actively listening.
I'd take caution, however, to NOT put your hand too close to your mouth. Any time you cover your mouth, you block your conversation partner's view of your smile. And according to Irving Goffman, godfather of social pyschology, "a smile is the #1 nonverbal indicator of successful interactions."
Dear Scott, thanks for another super article, i just love this site, thanks for the hard work.
Post a Comment